Culture NBA Weekend Ramblings

You Won’t Believe It: Top 5 Things That Happened Since The Knicks Last Made The Playoffs.

Being a lifelong Knicks fan hasn’t been easy. Whether it was the Isiah Thomas sex scandal, Derek Fisher’s disastrous coaching debut or James Dolan’s petty feud with Charles Oakley, there has always been something to laugh… and cry about. But there’s something cooking in Tom Thibodeau’s kitchen. It smells great at The Garden these days and it’s not the knish stands out on 8th Avenue. At the moment the Knicks are firmly holding the 4th place spot in the Eastern Conference with a 35-28 record. Probably one of the best season’s they’ve had in a long time. Much of this success has to be attributed to Thibs aggressive coaching style, but we can’t look past the excellence of Julius Randle, RJ Barrett, D-Rose, Alec Burks and rookie Immanuel Quickley.

Look I get it, you’re not here to hear a delusional Knicks fan talk about a potential championship run. You are here to laugh at the New York Knickerbockers and how miserable we’ve been since the last time they made the playoffs. So without further ado…

HERE ARE THE TOP 5 THINGS THAT HAPPENED SINCE THE KNICKS MADE THE PLAYOFFS IN 2013:

#5: Toronto Mayor Rob Ford Smokes Crack

Unfortunately, I had to start this list with Rob Ford. May his soul rest in peace, but for a glorious couple of months we got to see real video of a mayor actually smoking crack and acting crazy. While I hate to make jokes at the expense of the deceased, Rob Ford left us with some incredible videos.

#4: Birth of Prince George

Now this isn’t really a funny one, but just consider what Prince George of Cambridge looks like now. How did the Knicks suck so much for so long? P.G.C is now 7 years old and apparently a hell of a swimmer!

#3 Donald Trump was President for 4 years

I couldn’t make this list without bringing up Donny. Don’t worry, I’m not going to make this political. I know how much you all want us to STICK TO SPORTS. The New York Knicks were so bad in 2019 that James Dolan decided to cut Donny a check rather than spending his money on real talent (click here for the story). To some four years may not seem very long, but when you’re a Knicks fan time runs in dog years. Also, I wanted to take a shot at the worst owner in professional sports James Dolan.

#2 : 50 Cent’s first pitch

Look, I’m the last person that wants beef with Curtis James Jackson III, but is there anything better than making fun of New York sports teams?! Thankfully the Mets are an even bigger joke than the Knicks. They decided to give Fiddy the first pitch and he absolutely shanked it.

#1 Hulk Hogan sues Gawker

Last but not least, the Hulkster got his revenge on Gawker Media for publishing a scandalous sex video in 2012 (relax, the lawsuit was in 2013). Hogan reaped in an eye opening 140 MILLION DOLLARS in the verdict and effectively shut down a company that essentially spawned sites like Hot Sauce Sports. While this may not seem as important as other life events at the time like the Boston Marathon Bomber or the Lac-Mégantic disaster, keep in mind that this was one of the most unique lawsuits to hit popular media. It changed the landscape of blog sites and privacy rights for years to come.

Notable Addition:

Lance Armstrong admits to steroid use (January 2013)

While there are tons of stories that could be added to the list, I’d like to end on a banger. Lance Armstrong announced in 2013 that he basically did EXACTLY what most other racing cyclists were doing at the time, inject steroids in his ass. At the time it was a sensational story and great opportunity for Europeans to shit on Americans… kinda like what happened to the Super League. Regardless this did not make the list because it happened prior to the Knicks making the playoffs in 2013. LANCE ARMSTRONG IF YOUR READING THIS (you totally aren’t) COME ON HOT SAUCE SPORTS, WE WANT AN INTERVIEW!

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