NFL

Tom Brady: From Boring Robot to Fun Loving Cyborg

Say it ain’t so! I can’t believe this is true. I feel as ridiculous as the human squint shield wiper that Steven Seagal.  After multiple decades of rooting against perhaps the greatest quarterback to ever play Football, I think I’ve become a Tom Brady Fan.

In my youth, a time so naïve I actually celebrated the injury to Drew Bledsoe that would lead to watching a young Tom Brady take the field (this actually fills me with some shame as in adulthood I’ve learned that cheering for injury just makes you a terrible person).   I celebrated as certainly this player with such a regular name could never rise to greatness and therefore the AFC East would now be the exclusive domaine of my teal and orange clad Miami Dolphins once again. I was wrong, very very wrong.

For years I watched as he general incompetence of the teams in his division cooped with an absolute mastery of the position saw Brady go about his business, winning conference title after conference title and Superbowl after Super Bowl. If you divide Brady’s career into three equal parts he would be a three time Hall of Famer, which, of course, is utter nonsense. Still, Tom Terrific’s cheesy nickname, his lack of personality and the grating preachy-ness of the “”Patriot way” never really fit with my own personality.  It was regimented and above all boring af. 

It got to the point that even I could not doubt the greatness.  Sure you have the moronic social media wanna be columnists who make lists of Brady’s accomplishments and come up with lame excuses to excuse his greatness.  There are even some who insist that there’s a league wide conspiracy to hoist Brady unto the mantle of greatness.  This of course would imply that the unprecedented ever-increasing value of the NFL is only valuable with a dynasty at the helm.  This is bizarre for a product renowned for it’s parity.

The stupefying loud minority of Twitter notwithstanding Brady’s ability cannot be questioned.  However, for a long time Brady was boring.  His most interesting controversy was the air pressure that was missing from his game balls.  While certainly, that was momentarily deflating, it hardly rose to the brazen drunkenness of Joe Namath or the world famous arrogance and temper of Dan Marino.  Yet, with a new start under the Florida sun (or more likely the soggy thunderstorms of Tampa Bay). Tom Terrific seems to be turning a new leaf.

Clearly, this part of his career is meant to be legacy defining.  Separating from Bellechick, the Pats and the Patriot way, Tom joined up with the more in your face dynamic of Bruce Aryans to win his latest (and 7th) championship with the Tampa Bay Bucs.  Joining him were ex-Pats who didn’t fit the mold.  Rob Gronkoski brought his unique skill set and immature humor stylings down south and the media circus that is Antonio Brown was all too happy to show case that he is still one of the league’s most talented receivers. 

Recently Tom’s antics have made him feel more relatable and more human.  A man who used to keep the world at arm’s length was now drunkenly stumbling through the Super Bowl parade after having thrown the Vince Lombardi trophy from one boat to another (it was never in danger; did anyone actually think Brady’s toss would be off target?). Recently on Twitter the man who’s regimented TB12 diet and lifestyle are known for moderation has built up an interesting persona.  Between teasing his coach for his newly dried tattoo celebrating the recent superbowl win or the April Fool’s post talking about bringing the Montreal Expos back in 2022, Brady seems to be having fun for the first time in his life.

So here we are. After two decades of jealousy and frustration, I’ve become a Brady fan.  With his greatness now beyond a doubt, his final act will be to show fans that he’s more relatable than ever.  For those too young to remember we tore down Michael Jordan and Kobe in their primes for being ball hogs, Barry Bonds for being a jerk and Wayne Gretsky for being soft. We almost held the robotic nature of Patriots’ legend Tom Brady.  However, with his latest move Brady in Red is looking to take control of his own messaging and, I for one, am enjoying it.  

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