It’s that time again! MY random random rankings that mean absolutely nothing to anyone, including me. Since I’ve experimented with Social distancing, I’ve realized that there’s way too much to watch on TV. I’ve watched Ozark, The Sinner, You, Vikings, Explained and Our Planet (amazing while you’re high as balls). I told myself that I would finish that book, but all I’ve been doing is watch TV, cook and clean.
There’s the obvious names like Tony Soprano, Walter White and John Snow but here is my list of my favourite TV characters that you would never even think of:
Carl Gallagher – Shameless
Probably the most underrated character on that show, but how can we ignore his ingenuity, hustle and business savvy. Carl went from melting dolls in his microwave to small town drug king pin and then to a top recruit in the military, all before the age of sixteen. He’s faked cancer and broken his own leg for basketball tickets. Carl has the street smarts to succeed in anything he had set his mind to, even taking over a prison. White Boy Carl!!!
Charlie Kelly – It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
The funniest character on TV. Nobody has made me cry of laughter as much as Charlie has. From his astounding lyrical performances in Nightman Cometh and Going America on everyone’s asses. Charlie’s unique relationship with Frank Reynolds, his obsession with The Waitress and lack of comprehension of basic human fundamentals are what makes him great. His unique imagination has created characters in his mind that haunt him in his dreams like Denim Chicken and Hans WermHatt. Hans Wermhatt chases Charlie around in a plane and tries to shoot him.
Tobias Beecher – OZ
It’s rare that when I mention OZ as one of my favourite shows that people know what the hell I’m talking about. Tobias Beecher played by Lee Tergesen is one of the main reasons why I liked it. Beecher was incarcerated for killing a nine year old girl while driving drunk. In jail, he discovered that he wasn’t much different from the other inmates. Beecher was used and abused by the White Nationalists before he fell in love with a fellow inmate that eventually turns on him. He has two very famous scenes; one where he bites the dick off an inmate that forces Beecher to blow him and when he takes a dump in the mouth of the leader of the White Nationalists, Schillinger.
Leon Black – Curb Your Enthusiasm
Leon Black: Member of the Big Johnson club for guys with massive dongs, lives in Larry’s guest house and represents Larry in all his adventures and business endeavors. Leon known for his quick witted answers and his way of thinking is what makes him so great. He’s the best part of the show. Larry would be lost without Leon’s advice.
Ramsay Bolton – Game of Thrones
I know I know I know! He’s a prick, but he made the show that much more interesting. The fact that he kidnapped Theon Greyjoy, cut his balls off and gave us one of the most interesting story lines in the entire series. Ramsay Bolton had no remorse for anything, including repeatedly raping his wife Sansa Stark. It was fitting that he died the same way he would kill his prisoners, by being fed to his hounds. Never underestimate the antagonist. It’s OK, he got what he deserved…
B
Honourable Mentions
Nelson Val Alden – Boardwalk Empire
Mike Ehrmantraut – Breaking Bad / Better Call Saul
Ruth Langmore – Ozark
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