NHL Playoffs: Western Conference Outlook

The weaker conference overall in the postseason still boasts some powerhouse franchises.

These are the things to look for in the first round of the postseason.

Calgary Flames v Colorado Avalanche

1. Does Johnny Hockey get his Happy Meal in time for game 1?

He won’t be a happy camper, especially without the extra nap time.

2. Do the Avalanche re-sign Joe Sakic to help with the fact that they only have one good player left healthy?

Nathan MacKinnon could use the help. Even if it’s from an old man without a functional back. That depth is, well, yikes.

3. Do we get another disallowed goal that costs the Flames the series?

Not that Flames fans ever bring that up. It’s never been heard of since 2004. LECAVALIER NEVER DESERVED HIS CUP…. blah blah blah

Dallas Stars v Nashville Predators

1. Will Carrie Underwood sing the national anthem?

We’ve seen some truly horrible renditions of the Stars and Stripes. *cough* Fergie *cough*. But Carrie Underwood never disappoints. Plus that would mean seeing Mike Fisher’s beautiful face again. Unless he makes a wild comeback for playoffs again…….

Image result for mike fisher
Look at this stunning couple.

2. Does Jamie Benin’s girlfriend ever get to be happy?

If you don’t get this joke don’t look it up. (Do it though it’s hilarious)

3. Does someone finally tell the predators that yellow isn’t that cool of a jersey colour?

It’s kinda gross honestly. The yellow helmets are kinda cool though. And they’re being compared to some of the nicest ones around right now, the green Stars jerseys.

4. Do the Predators destroy a team and their head office in the same series like they did against the Blackhawks?

Stan Bowman lost his mind after their first round matchup, traded all his good players for, well, bad ones. Exactly like the Canadiens did to the Capitals in 2010.

Winnipeg Jets v Saint Louis Blues

1. Will Ryan O’Reilly’s truck make it to the game without being totalled at the Dunkin’ Donuts drive-through?

Tim Hortons took him down but maybe he’ll survive the American doughnut shop’s tough terrain.

Image result for ryan oreilly truck

2. Do the Jets fans ever forgive Ilya Bryzgalov for his comments on the city of Winnipeg?

“You don’t want to go to Winnipeg, right?” Bryzgalov said. “Not many people live there, not many Russian people there. Plus it’s cold. There’s no excitement except the hockey. No park, no entertaining for the families, for the kids. It’s going to be tough life for your family.
“I’ve been there for just once, maybe twice, when I play in minors. It was really cold. I used the tunnels between the buildings to get to the arena. Because it was minus 40-something. Real cold.”

Ilya hates Winnipeg

3. Does Patrick Laine’s beard count as a playoff beard?

It certainly shouldn’t. It’s disgusting and he looks like a goat. The team will be better with a clean cut Laine. Well actually any version is better than the current underperforming Laine.

Image result for laine beard

San Jose Sharks v Vegas Golden Knights

1. Does Vegas finally accept that we all call them Las Vegas anyways?

Might as well add it to your name. It’s cooler.

2. Does Dale Tallon ever realize he gave the Knights a free first line because he’s not the smartest man in every room?

No that’s crazy, he’s the best at everything ever.

Analytics took a more important place in the game. We made some mistakes… and thank god I’m back

Dale Tallon, super smart man.

3. Does Dale Tallon regret firing his stats boys and Gerard Gallant?

Dale Tallon regrets nothing and does not hear your criticisms.

4. How does Karlsson react to being in the playoffs and not being the only NHL player on the roster?

Well I’m sure his 1.5 ankles will be less strained when they were in 2017.

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